A letter to my eight-year-old self!

Hey young man.
This is some heartfelt words that I would have truly loved to have heard while I ws at this ripe age of eight years. I'm very certain that some of these wisdoms would have made your life much better.
First, Young man, you need to know that a lot of people really love you and, even though some may not know how to truly express love, the real feelings are layered away somewhere in there.
So, fortunately, it's a real good chance that you will never be alone.
Second, you must totally understand that education is the most important thing you need, next to food and water. If you truly embrace the essence of a very good education, you will see and do miraculous things, and may even be able to change the world.
If you've just turned eight, you just witnessed a great man, Martin Luther King, Jr., get assassinated a little over a year ago. I will spend a minute telling you how cruel this world can be, but before I do, I want to clearly, clearly say that Dr. King was able to achieve greatness and change the world -- because of his education.
There is no person who is successful, wealthy or brilliant who doesn't have a personal love affair with education.
Third, this world can be very cold and cruel. You will run into dishonesty, betrayal and hate. Try very hard to reject them because they lead to tragedy.
You also will be offered cigarettes, drugs and alcohol on a number of occasions. What the people won't tell you is that those things will destroy your life for sure!
Please avoid those things because, if you don't, your life will never be the same.
Fourth, be respectful to people -- especially to women -- because one day some woman is going to help you become the man you were meant to be. Always remember that every good man has a good woman standing next to him, so be very respectful.
Fifth, take care of your family and always put them first, because family is the most important thing.
There are so many things I would like to say to you, but if I had to just say these few things, I would be satisfied that you could make it by following this advice.
These five bits of wisdom can make you live your life to its fullest potential.
So, before I close, I would like to just say, REginald, you are a very special and unique person, and just remember that people really do love you!
Have a Very Long and Happy Live!
With Love,
Reginald at "45"

(Note: Don Ray posted this on behalf of Reggie, the boy, and Reggie, the man. He wrote this earlier this year, but I failed to post this and other items he sent to me on the blog. My sincere apologies go out to my friend Reggie, to his family and to all of the people who could have seen this and could have made adjustments to their lives because of Reggie's wisdom.)

Why?

As I sit and wonder how I, and others like me, get so tangled up in a system like this. There is a long list of surface reasons that come to mind.
But after all these years, there has never been a process of trying to find out "why" we do some of the stuff we do. We sonder how most inmates constantly return to custody over and over -- and then you come to realize that no one really tries to find out WHY!
You always get the basic question: Why did he do that?
But you never get to the bottom layer peeling -- why? It's continuous, like an onion.

1. Why did you do it?
2. Why were you feeling that way?
3. Why did you think you had no choices?
4. Why are you so angry?
5. Why won't you let people in?
6. Why did you react so fast, etc., etc.!

I think if you get inmates to to sit still and process (really precess) these types of questions -- in a group or structured setting -- you start to get to the meat of what makes inmates tick.
I didn't decide to do any internal inventory until I had access at some structured group settings where some questions were being asked and some life stories were being told.
Then you start to connect and upen up. You become less defensive and more humble! I feel that if you are spending $40,000 a year, you can at least require and Alcoholic Anonymous-style meeting once or twice a week. You'll find that inmates act better when people listen -- and hear them.
It did wonders for me -- and made me want to do better. And that makes society better.
Isn't that what we all want?
R.W.

Being Thankful from the Inside?

It gives me great pleasure to be able to express some of the things I'm thankful for -- even while I'm in a place as dark as this prison. Prison can be -- and is -- one of the most dark, lonely, scary, hopeless and miserable places on Earth.
But one of the things I'm thankful for is somehow finding the faith, hope and strength to get past all of the negatives 00 and tap into the willpower to shine a little light on some of the despair. Contrary to most beliefs, the most noticeable emotion inside jails is not anger or hostility -- it is FEAR!
It touches everyone, but no one will admit it. The new prisoners fear what lies ahead. The seasoned prisoners fear what will happen if, and when they can't tow the line. And the older prisoners start to fear the mortality of themselves and loved ones.
The guards fear what will happen if they were to lose control. And society fears what will happen ever time a prisoner walks out the gate!
I'm thankful that I have a family that has kept me close -- especially my mother -- which inspires me to be strong. I'm thankful for a second chance at life because, even though I never considered myself violently dangerous, some of the stunts I pulled could have gotten me killed.
I'm thankful that most people around me have consistently seen the good in me -- even when I was acting like a fool.
I'm thankful that I'm allowed a platform in a daily basis to interact, and sometimes help people -- specifically youngsters who seem to be going down the same tragic path I was on.
I"m also thankful that I've been able to stay fairly healthy in an unhealthy environment.
There is a long list of things I'm thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day -- especially now that I truly understand the essence and importance of being thankful.
Finally, I'm thankful that, even in this dark place, I get glimpses of humanity from people every day as I sit and watch them go home to their families. They know -- and even say, "How important it is that you come home soon because we need you out there and there's so much that yhou can be doing to help in the community."
Some may have even prayed on it at their Thanksgiving Dinner table.
As I end this holiday expression, I just want to convey how good it is to just be thought about -- and that's truly worth being thankful for!

R. Wheeler